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AFM Magazine


Getting Your Team Connected

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By Eric Slivoskey, Former Coach

Seinajoki Crocodiles (Finland)

 

How connected are you to your players? Do you merely make contact with team  members to ensure that they are staying out of trouble and not reflecting poorly on the program, or do you strive to know something personal about each person on the squad. In a world that seems to be changing faster than any of us could have ever imagined, it has become increasingly important to stay plugged in to the lives of each and every member of the team. On the surface, there appears to be more ways than ever before to reach out and communicate with those around us.

In truth, the majority of communication that takes place nowadays can best be described as superficial, and it rarely penetrates beyond the surface of the individual. The analogy that comes to mind for me is the idea that an iceberg looks grand when seen from the waterline, but only one ninth of this wonder is visible to the naked eye. The rest of it, about eight-ninths of the structure, is only seen by those who make the effort to go beneath the surface. Likewise, it is important to remember that effective human communication also requires a concentrated effort to dig a little deeper. As the old saying goes, players want to know how much you care before they care about how much you know.

A recent article in USA Today declared 2010 as the year we stopped talking. Ninety-three

percent of Americans now use cell phones or wireless devices. All this cutting edge

technology has forever changed the way we, as coaches, do business and how we

communicate with our players.

On a recent trip to a 7-on-7 tournament, I had the opportunity to transport four of the

high school athletes that I coach to the event in my own personal vehicle. Within about 

60 seconds of getting into the car, the athletes checked their cell phones, and a few

sent a quick text message. After about a minute had passed, each one of the guys plugged

 into their iPod and seemed to disappear  into another world.

I said a few words to stir up some conversation, but after a few nonverbal nods, I got their

message loud and clear. Slowly, I reached for the radio dial and tuned into a sports talk

station. For the next 25 minutes, the five of us disconnected from one another and

plugged into our own media source. As I pulled into the parking lot of the 7-on-7 facility,

I couldn’t help but realize how much things have changed. In this new realm of You

Tube, Facebook, Twitter, and around the clock texting---- one thing is certain. As

coaches, we must learn to adapt and navigate our way through a world that places a high

premium on a constant state of connectivity. Although we now have all of these means

for “connectedness” at our disposal, I would argue that there are some pitfalls along the

way. Sherry Turkle, author of Alone Together: Why We Expect More From Technology

and Less From Each Other, sums it up this way, “We’ve come to confuse continual

 connectivity with making real connections.”

As an example, let’s take a look at texting. This phenomenon is ubiquitous and evident almost everywhere in everyday life. People text while driving, in line at the grocery store, and even during church services, weddings and funerals. If you haven’t noticed, many of your athletes are letting their fingers do the talking during class, on the bus, in team meetings, and sometimes even during practices and games. Some by-products of all this finger pounding are non-attentive listening and divided attention.

So what can a coach do to improve the level of connectedness on his or her team? The first step might be to limit the player’s access to cell phones during meetings, team functions, study halls, etc. This will likely cause a stir, but it can be approached from the angle of wanting to limit distractions and increase focus on team-related goals. Second, we can all make a better effort at getting to know our student-athletes on a more personal level. Knowing something personal about each guy like his birthday, a favorite musical artist, his family, or his interests outside of football can really go a long way in building a clearer conduit for communication with each athlete. Finally, think about focusing on team building activities that promote self-introspection, unity, and even love amongst the players and coaching staff. Love may be an uncomfortable word for many coaches and players to use, but it can build bonds of steel and a connectedness in a group of young men that has no limits. In a recent issue of this magazine, Coach Bryon Hamilton commented in his Coach to Coach column on how sharing an expression of love or a hug with a player can impact lives forever. This type of gesture doesn’t cost a thing, so it will never affect your budget.

Another exercise that I have tried from time to time is to gather the team together the night before a big game. All of the coaches and players sit side by side in a large circle. The activity then begins with the head coach asking each member in the circle to briefly share about something that he is thankful for. The head coach can lead things off. The responses of the players never cease to amaze me. Responses range from players being thankful for a comfortable pillow, a high-tech cell phone, or some other material possession. But often times, the responses turn personal and players share a poignant word about a close friend, coach, or family member. I’ve seen this experience draw many of my squads closer together, with the added benefits of an increase in trust and communication both on and off the field. In the end, players and coaches will learn a lot about each other and greatly enhance the connectedness of the team.

 






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