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AFM Magazine

AFM Magazine


Was It a Loss?

by: Zane Lumelsky
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It was a heartbreaking loss yesterday. With less than two minutes left in the game, and a chance to score and win, they fell short by a foot. The last few moments were hard to endure as their opponent took control of the
ball and let time run out. I was there, on the sidelines, trying to capture images to illustrate the values of the school’s football program -teamwork, commitment, sacrifice, determination, discipline, courage. But I put my camera away.
Over the last two years I’ve gotten to know several players and coaches at Williams College well enough to grasp what this game - against archrival Amherst College - means to them. This season I followed the team more
closely attending not just games but practices and team meetings as well. I even joined the booster club and listened to speeches at their luncheons. I laughed when I saw the team’s program photos, especially the linemen, with
expressions meant to put fear in the hearts of their adversaries. And now, towering over me, some of these same men were crying, some inconsolably. Some were unable to speak, staring blankly into the distance, withdrawn into a
place I could never enter. The large, cheering homecoming crowd had left and what remained were a handful of dedicated supporters. The gray day fit the mood.
For the coaches and underclassmen it was tough and it hurt. As the head coach told them afterwards “If you don’t feel sick in the pit your stomach there’s something wrong with you.” But there will be another season, a chance to avenge this loss. For the seniors, however, it wasn’t just a famous ancient rivalry, the “little three”, league championship, and the final game of the season. For all but a rare few graduates over many decades, it’s the end of their football careers.
Standouts in Pop Warner, stars in high school, and now part of an extremely successful college program, they’ve been high achievers, at the top of their game, almost their entire lives. To end it all with a disappointing loss, an
important loss, is new to them. Trying, maybe even unacceptable.
This dark mood didn’t last too long. Once they reassembled and were greeted by family and friends at the parents’ food tent, their spirits lifted. A parents’ group feeding hungry players after games, all games including scrimmages, away, and Junior Varsity, is unique to this program.
It’s easy to celebrate but much more difficult to console. Parent’s, coaches, and friends rose to the occasion, their support unconditional. Now most players were laughing and joking. I was sure that more pensive moments would follow that night or during next days and weeks. But they had begun to heal, to move forward.

* * *

It was ironic that I had just finished reading a new biography of Winston Churchill. I’ve read long, detailed accounts of his life, but this short book was more about the lessons we can learn from it. And for me, the
greatest lesson Churchill’s life demonstrated was how to deal with, and overcome, loss. For the uninformed, Churchill was merely a famous personality and successful leader. But his losses - emotional, physical, financial, and political--were as monumental as his victories. According to the biography’s author, historian Paul Johnson, personal attributes that were responsible for Churchill’s resiliency included magnanimity in victory
as well as defeat, an unflinching self-confidence combined with a self-deprecating sense of humor, and a determination and persistence against all odds. “Never, never, never, never give in!” was Churchill’s shortest and most famous advice.
After the game the head coach was also very clear - this was not an individual defeat but a collective one. And he, as head coach, was taking ultimate responsibility for the loss. So they’re learning, by example, not to let
the monsters of recrimination, blame, and regret enter their hearts. Churchill substituted meanness of life for joy and it served him well.
Churchill made many friends throughout his life, even out of enemies. Loss is inevitable. But maybe Churchill knew that being surrounded by unconditional love is the best, maybe the only, salve. How fortunate this
team was to be surrounded with the kind of nurturing support that allows them to experience suffering - and I do not presume to judge the validity or depth of anyone's suffering - and to rebound constructively. Ultimately
loss is personal and lonely. As George Carlin said "The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on... The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves." But how much stronger these boys, now men, will be when facing their future, inescapable losses.

* * *

I’ll be curious to talk with players and coaches over the next several weeks after they’ve had time to reflect and absorb the disappointment. Now I have a new, deeper insight into this football program’s value. In the
past I observed how participation in college sports, especially team sports, taught a lesson beyond the classroom. In the classroom they compete against each other but on the playing field they have to learn to work
together, depend upon others, be there for their teammates. If learned, these attributes will allow them great success in business, politics, science - whatever endeavor they choose.
During the season practice is every afternoon, except on Sunday, beginning at 4:30 pm and finishing about three hours later. But the time commitment is greater, maybe five hours, because of suiting up and warm-ups. Even on their day off, Sunday, there’s the evening team meeting and
films to review. Also, there is film study during the week as well as individual workouts and training. Games mean a commitment all day Saturday and away games may even mean an
over night. For JVs there’s also a Sunday game four or five times during the season.
Williams College is rigorous and demanding academically so it is all the more impressive that the players can put so much time into football and
still achieve scholastically.
I have a new respect for these men. Kids really are how I usually referred to them with many still in their teens. I have glimpsed the sacrifices they’ve made and the pain - physical and emotional - that they have suffered and
endured.
On Friday nights practice is for last minute review and motivational talks. After last Friday night’s practice, before the big game, I walked off the field with one of the younger, popular coaches. Into his fourth year, I asked about his background. He told me that he had several job
offers but chose Williams for one reason - to find out why their sports teams win eighty percent of their games.
“I wanted to know what about the culture here that can cause this,” he confided. “So what did you find out?” I asked.
“It’s the kids’ deep desire to be the best at what they do. It doesn’t matter what that is - classroom, football, or whatever. I’ve never seen anything like it. I have the best, easiest job in the world. I don’t have
to remind them to work out or prod them to do better. They do it themselves.”

* * *

In the beginning of Johnson’s biography he quotes Churchill’s answer to a question. “We are all worms. But I really think I am a glow worm.”
I was tired and finished for the day and as I left for home I turned to look back. The field and press box were dark and the late afternoon twilight had vanished but Williams College’s Weston Field was glowing brightly that night.

The author of 'Was It A Loss?' is Zane Lumelsky. You can reach him by email at zane@corporate-papers.com or by calling Corporate Papers at 888-742-6886. His web site is www.corporate-papers.com.






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