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AFM Magazine

AFM Magazine


COACHING FROM THE HEART

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by Marc Sites, Assistant Coach

Liberty High School (CO)

 

List any great team or dynasty in the history of sports and every team had a great coach. John Wooden at UCLA, Bill Walsh with the 49ers, Phil Jackson with the Bulls and Lakers, Red Auerbach with the Celtics and the list goes on and on. On the flipside, there have been plenty of talented teams in sport that were never champions and many times the culprit for their failure was ineffective coaching or leadership. Thus, coaches can have a significant impact on the fortunes of their teams. All coaches would like to be known as “great” coaches when they hang up their whistle for the last time. What constitutes a “great” coach? Win/loss record, knowledge of X’s and O’s, relationship with players are all certainly viable criteria. Is there another question that should be asked and answered first?

 

My nine year-old son recently asked me: “Dad, how do you coach?” I didn’t respond immediately because I wanted to give a thoughtful answer to a simple, yet very intriguing question. After some thought, my answer was: “I coach from the heart.” Of course, he responded with: “What does that mean?” As I thought about it later, that simple question and answer could lead to a rewarding discussion about coaching and striving for greatness. “Coaching from the heart” might mean different things to different people. To some it means a coach who might be very emotional; to others perhaps it means a coach who sincerely cares about his/her players. As I constructed my answer to my son, I came up with the outline for this article.

 

BE YOURSELF

 

Coaches come in all different shapes, sizes, personalities, ages and temperaments. Some coaches are successful using few words while others get their point across by jumping around, yelling, and carrying on. Some coaches have loud, booming voices, others are soft-spoken. I think whatever your personality, demeanor, or coaching style, it is important to be yourself. Today’s athletes are very perceptive and I think they pick up on coaches who are trying to be somebody that they are not. In this case, respect becomes an issue because most coaches preach togetherness and accepting everyone on the team as they are. I think today’s players will have a difficult time with respect. I know I have tried on a couple occasions to be laid-back, quiet, and reserved. In one of those instances, a player came up to me and curiously, yet politely asked: “Coach, what are you doing?” I indicated I was attempting a new coaching style. The player responded that the new style wasn’t “me”. I agreed and went back to being animated and certainly not quiet.

 

BEFORE THEY CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU KNOW, THEY HAVE TO KNOW THAT YOU CARE”

 

This is a commonly used piece of philosophy in the educational world and I believe it to be also be 100% true in the coaching profession, as well. One of the most common reasons that kids give up youth sports is because they feel left out or that the coach didn’t know their name or anything about them. I make it a point to acknowledge every player at every practice and game. Many times it is a simple high-five, or a question about their life, or school; it can even be of common interest. If the youngster likes baseball, ask them if their favorite team won last night. It is natural for coaches to gravitate to the star players on their team, but on great teams, there are no weak links and everyone feels a part of what is going on with the team.

 

I think it is important for players to know that the coach cares about them as a person first and a player second. Building those relationships is critical to success. Someone once compared it to depositing money in the bank. When the coach has to make a withdrawal, there needs to be sufficient funds. The withdrawal is when a coach has to correct or get on a player for a sub-par performance. The deposits are the building blocks of that relationship that the coach has fostered. The players need to have been built up and supported so that they do not crumble when the coach needs to scold or correct them.

 

BE PASSIONATE ABOUT COACHING

 

Coaches are in this business because they love kids, athletics, and competing. I think passion about what you are doing is absolutely essential in any profession, especially coaching. If you don’t act like you want to be there, how can you possibly expect the players to want to be there. Passion doesn’t necessarily require animation. Some coaches have the ability to display passion with a look or a personal anecdote from their past experience. One of the keys to success in the coaching profession is a coach’s ability to motivate their players. If players believe in the coach and what the coach is teaching, that is a huge step towards building a successful team. I think players are motivated by passionate leaders. Passion inspires people to want to go to great lengths to accomplish shared goals. In essence, that is the key to coaching - convincing your team that the shared goal is so important that every player on that team should exert maximum effort from start to finish to accomplish it.

 

                                                                    LOVE

 

Any successful team resembles a family. Any successful family has love as one of its most important building blocks. Love your players and love the game that you coach. Love is unwavering, unconditional, and unbreakable. I tell my players that I love them – when we have done well and when we have lost – love has to be unconditional for it to be true. Love comes from the heart and it is sincere and it helps hold teams together during difficult times. As with a family, words are only as strong as the actions that support them. Love your team with what you say but, more importantly, by what you do and how you treat them.

 

IT IS ABOUT THE PLAYERS, IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU

 

Coaches ask players to put the team ahead of their own personal goals or visions of glory; this helps create a team-first attitude that is essential to success. Coaches must hold themselves to the same standard. Some coaches fall into the same trap that many parents fall into; they attempt to re-live their own glory days as players through their players or children. Just as damaging, sometimes coaches try to correct their own shortcomings as players by using their players to mend old wounds. Coaches don’t make baskets, score goals and touchdowns, or hit home runs - the players do. Teams are about the players, not the coaches.

 

It is common for coaches to celebrate and sometimes exaggerate a “good play call” or “scheme” after a big victory, then turn around and complain that “the players didn’t execute” after a loss. This behavior sends a very poor message to your team. A piece of advice I once received is relevant with this example. “It isn’t so much the X’s and O’s, as it is the Jimmy’s and the Joe’s.All “great” schemes, game plans, or strategies require players to execute them. The players execute the game plans, not the coaches. Do not play the blame game, it breeds distrust among the players and other coaches. Don’t shift blame onto assistant coaches or players. Ultimately, the head coach is responsible for what takes place on the field or court. If a coach feels compelled to take credit after a win, they should take responsibility after a default.

 

                                               BE A MODEL

 

“Do as I say, not as I do” has been around for generations and been used by parents and coaches countless times. Unfortunately, I do not believe it is an effective philosophy in today’s society. I believe coaches need to model the behavior they want their team to exhibit. I think players take on the personality and behaviors of their coach. All coaches want “buy-in” from their players to the techniques and principles they are teaching. I think players need to see the coach holding himself to the same standards. Players see that, “This must be really important because coach is doing the same thing.” This has a significant impact.

 

Coaches are the leaders of the program. They are the figurehead, or in some cases, the symbol of the program. That responsibility must be taken seriously. Coaches that lose control with their own players, opposing players and coaches, or the officials embarrass their program and model poor behavior. Charles Barkley once said he was an athlete, not a role model. Coaches, on the other hand, are role models to their players and the community.

 

“Be the kind of coach you would want your own child to play for.” I think this statement encompasses everything a coach should strive for in being a positive role model for young people to follow. In the end, a coach is leading young people and teaching them how to be responsible young people. Their language, behavior, and their treatment of people are key components to that education.

 

                                    BE A PROFESSIONAL

 

Coaching is a profession, a lifestyle, it is not a job. It is one of the most rewarding, challenging, and important professions in our society. Coaches teach lessons that last a lifetime. It is a huge responsibility and wins and losses are just a small part of all of it. The win/loss records will eventually fade away in most cases, but the lessons learned and the experiences that were had will endure.

 

It is important for coaches to embrace the professional aspect of what we do. Dress the part at practices and games. Have organized practice planners and possess sound game management skills. Games are like tests in the classroom. They test players and coaches alike to determine if the drills and principles that have been taught and completed at practice are leading to overall team improvement and cohesion.

 

One of the most challenging aspects of coaching is dealing with parents and media, depending on the level of the sport that is being coached. Parents and media oftentimes only see things through a narrow scope, whereas coaches have to look at their team as a whole. Those two viewpoints can easily lead to conflict and friction. Even in the most difficult circumstances, a coach must always remain professional. Losing control or saying something regretful to a parent or media member can have catastrophic consequences.

 

 

                                          A GREAT COACH

 

What is a “great” coach? Is it solely based on win/loss record and number of championships won? Is it a coach who is a person of high character that teaches life lessons, but has a sub-par win/loss record? Is it a person of high character with a quality win/loss record? Is it a coach with a good win/loss record but is “win at all cost” and treats players poorly? Different people would have different answers to this question. Professional and collegiate sports understandably focus more on wins and championships. Youth sports focus more on teaching life lessons and treating players kindly.

 

For me, when my last day coaching has come, I will reflect on some memorable wins and some difficult losses. I think what I will focus on most of all is the relationships I had with my players and coaching partners over the years and the fact that I learned as much from them as they probably learned from me. I will take the most enjoyment from the fact that people will simply call me “Coach”, because that is one of the best titles that can be given to a person.

 

About the Author:

Marc Sites is a coach and teacher at Liberty High School in Colorado Springs, CO.He attended Illinois State University and received his Master’s Degree from the University of Northern Colorado.

 

 

 

 

 






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